; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My liver just broke up with me...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
