Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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