It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
