She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I forget how to act sober
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
