I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
