I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
