That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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