apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
