Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
