At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
