i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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