I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
