i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize