She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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