you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
