marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
