i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
