haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize