Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
