How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
