i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
