I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize