The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
