I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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