I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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