My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
