i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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