hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
