Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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