Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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