i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
