youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
