I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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