using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
