So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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