I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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