I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
