I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
