Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
