Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize