dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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