I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
