You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize