his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
