I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
