I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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