I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
