benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
