sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
