Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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