I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's official drugs can't kill me
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize