we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
