I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
