Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize