Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize