Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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