so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
