awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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