i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
