i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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