My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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