fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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