drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
