Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
