We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
