ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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