Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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