So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
